Intent to communicate

A good friend of mine shared this phrase with me the other day – I had never heard it…. 

It’s pretty simple and very logical – it is part of generalization but even more basic. 

We teach our children skills according to their assessments but we continually seem to skip the meaning behind those skills. 

The most important and basic skill a child needs is communication.  He needs to understand the effect that communication will bring him.  Teaching communication skills as a standalone skill is insufficient.  The child needs to learn what those skills can do for him – (other than alleviate frustration)

So before we try to move on to more advanced skills, we need to teach the effect of communication and why a child would want or intend to communicate.  When he learns why he should communicate, he then should expand his communication skills (sign language, speech, device, etc…).  When he has learned WHY he should communicate, you have just given him the intent to communicate.  When has learned how to communicate, you have just enabled him to communicate and take part in real life with true intent and desire to communicate.

Communication is the most basic skill necessary for all – and the intent to communicate is one of the first skills that should be taught to any child. Infants communicate naturally through crying.  They cry when they are wet or hungry to let you know that they need you – therefore they have communicated with you.  Older children with limited verbal skills will do the same thing – they will throw a tantrum or scream to get attention – so they already have the innate knowledge that their crying will bring an effect.

As they age, we need to utilize this knowledge by teaching them a form of proper communication (HOW) that will enable them to communicate their need or desire and then provide a desired response..
Once a child realizes that his communication will get him attention and meet his needs (WHY), he will begin to use it more and more.  Communication skills will naturally grow as the child will want to or need to provide more information to get desired outcome.  This is the intent….

i.e.  We teach children to request – “can I have cup” – it needs to go steps further and the child needs to go to a person, get their attention and then request.  Once this is learned and practiced, then the child should learn to ask for juice or desired drink, then drink it, then ask for a snack and so on…  Then you can expand the communication by asking questions like “is it good?”, “do you want another cookie?”, etc….  You can see the natural progression and how intent will naturally grow.  Of course each child may have different needs to be taught but if the desire is there, you can teach it….

Once you have intent – then you will also naturally build social skills – communicating requires socializing….  They go together….  So teach INTENT 1^st!

SIDENOTE:  IDEA law list 3 basic skills that every child is entitled to as part of FAPE – and communication is at the top of the small list!

I haven’t seen the movie yet – as I don’t think I want to have anything interfere with my impression of Temple Grandin.

I saw Temple speak years ago….  before she became a star…..  and what sticks in my mind the most was her discussion of how she thinks….  in pictures….  hence her book “thinking in pictures”

She refers to her thought process as going back in her mind, retrieving a video tape from her mind’s library and then playing the proper video to think….  This hit me like a 2×4 across the head…. 

I am mostly an auditory thinker….. so I guess it didn’t dawn on me that this could be so impactful on educating,  Now, when I teach my son, I always have visuals.  Of course, he was most successful with video, but after years of strictly video, we have been able to branch out into many other inputs including auditory.  But the learning is always faster with visual inputs ….. 

What we need to realize is that not all people think alike – and we need to find each child’s talent and teach to that talent…..  and in my son’s case, visual is the way to go…

If you have a chance and you think you may know someone who requires visual teaching, watch this clip and read her book.   It really is very moving.

http://www.ted.com/talks/temple_grandin_the_world_needs_all_kinds_of_minds.html

Do children all learn the same – of course not!   but when are we going to change our behavior as teachers, parents, mentors?

Children learn by doing, touching, seeing, listening, feeling, tasting, etc….   there are opportunities to learn all day long…  society is so wrapped up in the financial end of everything that we are leaving the children behind.  We are leaving them behind because we are focusing on the wrong things – teaching to the test, funding issues, best practices, etc…

We need to get our hands dirty and teach children skills, how to use those skills and then let them practice!   Then they will learn when to use the skills, how to use them and what the consequences of the skill are.  Take the little opportunities that exist to teach ….  I know that my son loved it when we were talking about gravity and I poured a glass of water on the floor!   He won’t forget what gravity is!

Below is a good article on the issue of prompting – and identifying the teaching procedures that work. 

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/radical-behaviorist/201002/do-all-children-learn-the-same-teaching-procedures

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news!!!!

If any of you are in the NY area – this is one of my favorites….  they have a special needs program called REACH … one that I don’t think you can beat…. My personal opinion of the staff is rather high – and for anyone who knows me – they know that is no easy achievement!http://hofstra.edu/Academics/CCEPA/SC/spec/spec_reach.html

Camp fun!

Call them at 516-463-CAMP – honestly you will love them

New York ACTS – An initiative for Adults and Children on the Spectrum – a partnership of 11 state agencies has launched their website

www.nyacts.org

The goal of this site is to bring relaiable, current information to the public about autism and to assist NY families to easily find state services.

The Finished Project

Sorry to be repetitive – but I think society needs a 2×4 to get this….   not you….  but the higher ups…..  you know .. the ones who make the decisions on how to educate our children ….

The teachers get it … the parents get it… and certainly the children get it!

Here is an example…. 

My son built this airplane today – his first lego project since about 14 months of age (hes 11 now)

And this is how he did it…..

VISUAL instructions

I could have explained to him how to build this lego plane – until  I was blue in the face….. and the plane would never have been finished….

But Lego gets it – so they include visual instructions – to complete a task!  

Imagine what would happen if we did this in school ….

So – once again, I am promoting visual instructions – in many formats – pictures, video (my favorite), signs, etc….

The science says it works, the children say it works, even the toy companies utilize it!    So, exactly when do you think we will start using it in our schools?  I guess I just need to work much faster….

I almost feel like I don’t really need to say anything else…..   maybe just “remember this before you act, respond or say something…… take the ten seconds to think”

I read the papers, I watch the news, I take my son to the doctor, I take him to school, I deal with people all day, etc….

Just to mention a few examples of leading by example….

In the grocery store, your child is acting out and a nosey onlooker gives you a dirty look and maybe even comments – so you could say something nasty or give them a dirty look – or teach them a lesson by saying
“i’m sorry you are ignorant – my child is autistic – I hope someday you may be able to understand”

In the government – we are in a recession – so what do you do when you don’t have enough money – well, you cut back on your spending….  I guess that would mean no trip to Hawaii…. or no trip to the awards in the Kennedy Center and certainly the travel and entertainment budget would be trimmed to be spent on more practical needs.

Speaking to your children – a temper tantrum is in the process – so now it is time to discourage this behavior….  not prolong it….  screaming and yelling along with the child would probably engage the child and encourage the activity…. Ignoring it would make the child realize the attention he was seeking is not coming his way….

Let’s play baseball, blocks, kickball, any game….  so get your butt out there and play with the child!   How else is he ever going to know what to do or how to do it or that it is “the” thing to do…

We need to SHOW people what to do…….  and if we are doing something totally different, obviously they are not going to see the appropriate way to act - 

If you want to teach, lead or impact a life – then you need to be an example to that life…..  an appropriate example …. be and show the end result….

and the end result can be a simple request for juice or it can be a School district class lesspm or it can be a action in our public leadership or even a law passed…. 

Be who you expect others to be – hmmmm…..   familiar saying “treat others as you would want them to treat you”….  maybe rings a bell…

Be the person and treat others how you would want them to treat you – do the right thing, go the extra mile, listen to them, help them, be there for them, feel their pain, comfort them….   

If all of us could follow such a simple rule, boy would things change for all of us!  I have been fortunate enough to have experienced such people in my life who actually have “LED by EXAMPLE”.  I hope you have too or will in the future!~

Dedicated to my dear friend Allan Goldblatt…..

In my opinion, Embarking on a journey that entails helping a sick child get better is like going off to war.  Although I have never been in an actual war, I do truly feel like I have fought a war.  A war with multiple fronts including an educational front, a biomedical front, a legal front, an emotional front – all fighting autism and the many facets of life that it affects.

I try to share with you the stories that are inspiring, informational, helpful in some way.  After 10 years of this battle, I feel compelled to share with you anything that can help you or ease your way.

There are so many portals of information on the internet and it can be overwhelming to determine where to go.  With all of this said….. I want to recommend a book to you …. it is a book about a mother’s journey in the world of autism…. in it she shares with you so much of her hard earned knowledge….her experience and her stories…

People like Rhonda are so giving to share this knowledge and research and time….  I hope that you will find it to be as helpful and inspiring as I did.

cover-the-journey-front-12-09

To purchase the book or learn more about Rhonda and her work, visit Rhonda Spellman’s site at http://autismwithrhonda.com/book-store/

Sharing with you a new link that was posted today…

It was very touching to me and made my day …. knowing that I had made a difference….

http://autisminautumn.com/home/watch-me-learn.html