Intent to communicate

A good friend of mine shared this phrase with me the other day – I had never heard it…. 

It’s pretty simple and very logical – it is part of generalization but even more basic. 

We teach our children skills according to their assessments but we continually seem to skip the meaning behind those skills. 

The most important and basic skill a child needs is communication.  He needs to understand the effect that communication will bring him.  Teaching communication skills as a standalone skill is insufficient.  The child needs to learn what those skills can do for him – (other than alleviate frustration)

So before we try to move on to more advanced skills, we need to teach the effect of communication and why a child would want or intend to communicate.  When he learns why he should communicate, he then should expand his communication skills (sign language, speech, device, etc…).  When he has learned WHY he should communicate, you have just given him the intent to communicate.  When has learned how to communicate, you have just enabled him to communicate and take part in real life with true intent and desire to communicate.

Communication is the most basic skill necessary for all – and the intent to communicate is one of the first skills that should be taught to any child. Infants communicate naturally through crying.  They cry when they are wet or hungry to let you know that they need you – therefore they have communicated with you.  Older children with limited verbal skills will do the same thing – they will throw a tantrum or scream to get attention – so they already have the innate knowledge that their crying will bring an effect.

As they age, we need to utilize this knowledge by teaching them a form of proper communication (HOW) that will enable them to communicate their need or desire and then provide a desired response..
Once a child realizes that his communication will get him attention and meet his needs (WHY), he will begin to use it more and more.  Communication skills will naturally grow as the child will want to or need to provide more information to get desired outcome.  This is the intent….

i.e.  We teach children to request – “can I have cup” – it needs to go steps further and the child needs to go to a person, get their attention and then request.  Once this is learned and practiced, then the child should learn to ask for juice or desired drink, then drink it, then ask for a snack and so on…  Then you can expand the communication by asking questions like “is it good?”, “do you want another cookie?”, etc….  You can see the natural progression and how intent will naturally grow.  Of course each child may have different needs to be taught but if the desire is there, you can teach it….

Once you have intent – then you will also naturally build social skills – communicating requires socializing….  They go together….  So teach INTENT 1^st!

 

SIDENOTE:  IDEA law list 3 basic skills that every child is entitled to as part of FAPE – and communication is at the top of the small list!

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news!!!!

If any of you are in the NY area – this is one of my favorites….  they have a special needs program called REACH … one that I don’t think you can beat…. My personal opinion of the staff is rather high – and for anyone who knows me – they know that is no easy achievement!http://hofstra.edu/Academics/CCEPA/SC/spec/spec_reach.html

Call them at 516-463-CAMP – honestly you will love them

This morning presented yet another dilemna…. due to Brett being sooooooo very literal. Every day we have a “literal” dilemna- something that was said or done that Brett does not understand.
Yesterday Brett ran out of lunch tickets and this morning asked me to write a check to buy more. Unfortunately I ran out of checks and gave him cash instead. He said it wouldn’t work, that he needed to have a check…. and proceeded to look for one in my Office ….
Beyond stubborn, he threw the money on the counter and said “its not worth it”…. well I tended to agree with him – knowing how yummy school food is! The episode went on and on and Brett was just determined that the cash would not work and that he HAD to have a check.
So – for the next 20 minutes or so, I tried to explain how you get money, put it in the bank, write a check, etc….
Of course the most effective way to teach this would be to have Brett earn money, put it in the bank and then write out a check for it…. so – this weekend he has decided to make up fliers to get a job for money – he will empty trash, fold clothes, vacuum….

I’ll keep you posted on our progress teaching about the gray area- I’m sure there will be another literal dilemna in this series of events….. but I’m going to let him do it – and maybe someday he will take everything a little less literally….

Earlier this week my husband wanted to take my son out to practice hitting baseballs.  My husband is an ex-minor baseball league player and dreams of his son being a major league player.

My husband approached the situation by telling Brett that they were going out to practice baseball.  My husband’s statement was met with a very adamant verbal objection from my son.  The scenario developed into a screaming match between the two of them and my husband’s threats that there would be no computer or television time for Brett.  Absolutely being addicted to television and the computer, Brett became hysterical and the situation basically exploded.  My furious husband was ranting and raving, and Brett was crying uncontrollably….  This went on for about twenty minutes.

Once again, I had to intervene and try to calm both of them.  I explained to my husband for the thousandth time that Brett is not dreaming of being a baseball player and that hitting balls on a 90 degree summer day was not his idea of fun.  Brett was more difficult to console.

After calming Brett down, he and I proceeded to get out the water balloons that are shaped and printed to look like baseballs.  We filled15 water balloons and put them in a cooler – all of course unbeknownst to my husband.  Brett happily filled the balloons, placed them in a cooler and began to get ready to go practice baseball.  He was actually excited about pulling a prank on his father by throwing water balloons at him that appeared to be baseballs!

Brett hopped in the car all prepared to play baseball!

They went off to the field, Brett hit the first three balls out of the park into right field and both of them came home soaking wet 45 minutes later!

What my husband forgot was that teaching and learning only happen when it is of interest to the learner!  When the learner is a child, FUN is the key component to success!~  The financial cost to this successful learning experience was about $1 – a pretty good investment!

 

Lessons Learned:  Incent child to participate, motivate child and remember that punishment is not the answer to obtain desired behaviors…..  think about how an adult would respond ….  If your boss told you to do something and threatened you, you would be left with anger and resentment – not a motivated attitude to complete the task!  Put yourself in the child’s shoes!

Social skills:  When teaching any skill, social skills are inherently included in your teaching.  Our actions and language are social skills.  Often we forget that our behavior is a model for a child or the person we are interacting with.  It is crucial that we keep this in mind and try our very best to act in an appropriate and socially acceptable manner.

 

 

02-we-are-the-champions

Today is a day of glory for us – a day of celebrating success achieved over a course of 9 years. For the past 9 years, we have tirelessly worked at teaching my son language, motor skills, attention skills, social skills, life skills and much much more. Those 9 years of teaching were also coupled with researching and implementing medical treatments for the many medical conditions that are a part of autism.

There were many professionals from various fields who said it couldn’t be done. This post is being written for those of you out there who hopefully doubt the nay-sayers and for those of you who have a nagging feeling in your gut that is telling you that the professionals may not have all of the answers and that you may some of the answers yourself. This story of a child’s accomplishments serves the purpose of stirring those gut feelings and encouraging you to follow your gut!

By the age of 4 1/2, three different doctors affiliated with three very reputable institutions advised me that my son’s condition would not change and simply encouraged me to accept his condition and to be realistic about his not so optimistic future.

Yesterday at Indiana University, Brett tool 3rd place in the one meter and three meter events at AAU Diving Nationals for 11 year old boys. A far cry from the institutional life he was slotted for! While his dives were beautiful and 3rd place was a huge accomplishment, it paled in comparison to the real life social skills that Brett demonstrated. There was probably not one single person in the acquatic center that understood what huge accomplishments were taking place right before their very eyes….Brett introducing himself to a peer and shaking hands, waving to the crowd when he was introduced, attending to his coach’s instructions, accepting scores that were lower than what he deserved, and on goes the list.

Brett’s performance yesterday was more like a “coming out” ceremony…. or more appropriately phrased, a “coming together” of thousands of hours of social skill training.

The last nine years have led me down paths that were down right terrifying – but along the way, I met many supporters who encouraged me to follow my mother’s intuition which ultimately led us down a path of success. Today I can say to you that every single minute of our work has been worth it. There is truly nothing more priceless than seeing my son filled with self-esteem and excelling in a very demanding event.

Today I witnessed self esteem and true confidence in my son….. how lucky am I? It didn’t start out this way though…. it started by unrolling his tightly curled finger to teach him how to point… When he learned that, I taught him how to clap and just kept going.  Each and every accomplishment was treated with praise….  and the words “You DID IT!” were heard over and over.
Every single accomplishment from the first finger point to a reverse flip dive is one more accomplishment under his belt. There will be many more…. after all, Rome was not built in a day.

Follow your gut….and praise every little accomplishment no matter how small.  Small accomplishments and self esteem are the building blocks what lies ahead!

For diving videos – a great video modeling for Brett, click here to see Greg Louganis

http://www.divingtube.com/index.php/View-Video/184/Greg-Louganis-GREATEST-DIVER-EVER.html

For information on Video modeling and teaching social skills, click here

http://www.watchmelearn.com/video-based-teaching.shtml

 

 

Scientific studies have proven that developmentally delayed children who lack training in social skills and social communication will likely continue to be deficient in these skills throughout adolescence and adulthood.  Furthermore, many high-functioning individuals with PDD will be unable to find employment that match their intellectual abilities or maintain a job due to impaired social skills (Rumsey & Hamburger, 1988).

Lack of social skills in adolescence can lead to problems such as fewer friends, lonelier than typical peers and less satisfying relations (Bauminger & Kasari, 2000).  Other issues include bullying, lack of self confidence, lack of self esteem, depression, activity exclusion, drug abuse and more.  Adults lacking social skills may likely experience similar emotional issues.  These problems can include fear or anxiety of relationships, lack of friends and loneliness, lack of a support network……  ultimately leading to depression and other emotional problems.  Emotional problems steer these individuals down a path that is ultimately self-destructive.  When this happens, these individuals are no longer ABLE to contribute to society and then become a burden to society via unemployment, substance abuse, etc…

Addressing the issue of social skill teaching in schools through a pervasive program will teach ALL children social skills.  This requires a program to be implemented throughout the school environment, not take place in one self-contained classroom. 

Students receiving social skills programming in their usual classrooms had substantially more favorable outcomes than students who received services in a pull-out setting (The study, “A Meta-Analysis of School-Based Social Skills Interventions for Children With Autism Spectrum Disorders,” was published in this month’s Journal of Remedial and Special Education. Coauthors are Jessica Peters, Lauren Benner, and Andrea Hopf). 

Source:  http://www.dancexm.com/kelli/index.php?c=viral&m=index&id=8fbf968b111556800e09c90494efcdc7

 

Children with developmental delays usually lack social skills and need to be taught appropriate behaviors, interpretation of social cues and environments, appropriate response to these cues and ultimately an understanding of the social world they live in.  Typical children need to develop an understanding of others, develop an acceptance of their differences and ultimately acquire the skills necessary for them to appropriately deal with such social differences in a non-abusive and non-threatening manner.  This requires changing behaviors.

For behavior modification to be effective, it needs to be embedded in the child’s day – this requires it to be part of the curriculum at school where a child spends the majority of his day.   The problems that society face as a result of social deficits are not going to go away.  They are actually much more likely to increase exponentially based on the rise in the incidence of autism and developmental delays.  This is a big RED flag to teachers, parents and society…  as today’s problems will grow to be tomorrow’s bigger problems.  Just look at the deficit.

 

The choice is ours – do we foster social growth in children today by providing the tools necessary for the children to be confident, happy adults?  Or do we sweep the problem under the rug, ignore it now and hope it goes away?  Ignoring this problem will cost society dearly….  Think about it.

And one more thought….. The Stimulus ARRA 2009 funds were provided to:

Provide intensive district-wide professional development for special education and regular education teachers that focuses on scaling-up, through replication, proven and innovative evidence-based school-wide strategies in reading, math, writing and science, and positive behavioral supports to improve outcomes for students with disabilities.

Source: http://www.ed.gov/policy/gen/leg/recovery/factsheet/idea.html

American Recovery and Reinvestment Act of 2009: IDEA Recovery Funds for Services to Children and Youths with Disabilities
April 1, 2009

1.    Maybe a good source for funding an effective social skills program through the professional development of special education and regular education teachers….

I just opened the e-mail from my web designer saying that our blog was ready to post to!  Initially, I thought I would put my first new post up in the morning since it is getting late and I have children to tuck into bed.  But just as I stood to walk away, the excitement got to me.  You see, this blog is an opportunity for me to share a very personal journey that I’ve been on for the past 2 1/2 years.  I will share as much as I can in the coming days, but tonight it is important for me to say just one thing to the parents of children with autism spectrum disorders, including aspergers.  It is this:   Mary Beth Palo and I are humbled and proud to announce that our video based, social skills teaching program meets the goals that we set for it when first forming our association 2 1/2 years ago!

Our goals at the time were to build on the foundation that Mary Beth so expertly formed.  She’d successfully gotten through to her own son using homemade video. As word spread about his remarkable progress, parents, therapists and teachers began asking for the videos.  She formed Watch Me Learn and released videos when she could manage it between her family, Brett’s intense needs and her own sanity.

When she and I met, I knew she’d done something very special.  We both knew how badly children with autism and aspergers needed an effective learning tool—especially in school where our own IEP experiences left educators and us frustrated.

Today, I get to be the first one to say that WE DID IT! Our brand new social skills videos now come with lesson plans, student worksheets, games, songs and lyrics and more.  The teaching is based on ABA and VB.  It is also based on PLAY—as parents we insist on that.  ABA is NOT fun–let’s face it.  Somewhere, good science forgot that children learn about the world through play.  Problem is that some children never learn to play–so we are here to teach them that first.

Lesson plans cross reference skills that are measured by the ABLLS-R assessment. Don’t let that acronym scare you!

If you don’t know what ABLLS-R is, I’m going to tell you now.  The ABLLS-R is an assessment (or test) that children with an autism spectrum disorder should be given.  If your child has an autism diagnosis, you should request that your school administer the assessment to your child.  Currently, it is the most widely used test of its kind (though there are a couple others in the works).  Board Certified Behavior Analysts (BCBA) in private practice also use it.

There hasn’t been any other teaching program created for students and children that ties into a specific measurement like ABLLS-R.  Not until we did this—which is one reason that I am so excited to be at this point.  If your child has been given this assessment (as they SHOULD have been) at school then when you put together their IEP, you can match the goals with a treatment program specifically designed for them.

What’s more–Dr. Partington, the author of the ABLLS-R was so impressed with the Watch Me Learn teaching method that he endorsed it and will be selling it alongside the ABLLS-R assessment on his website in the very near future!

I have a lot more to say, but now I really must get my kids settled and tucked in for the night.  Tomorrow is a school day after all.